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The ultimate lazy wash and shave

Why does a lazy dog need to shave? Well I don’t. This advice is for all you lazy men out there. The bathroom is full of expensive products and needless waste. And who pays for all that waste? You! And the environment pays for it too.

For men, probably growing a beard is better laziness than shaving, but for those who like to shave, think of all those chemical aerosol soaps, disposable razors and suchlike. Surely there’s a better way?

Well there is. Here’s how:

  • First, start filling a bucket from the hot tap. Most boilers take a while to heat up the water. Don’t run that down the sink; run it into the bucket to flush the toilet with. Either flush the loo normally and refill the cystern (wire up the float so it doesn’t fill with mains water) or just tip the bucket straight into the toilet bowl.
  • When the water’s really hot, soak a face cloth in it and put it on your face. Apparently it opens up the pores which somehow means you’ll get a closer shave.
  • Now to the razor. You need something that can be reused and sharpened. Brave people will try a “straight” or “cut throat” razor. If you’re more careful, look for old fashioned rectangular razor blades: Wilkinson Sword still make them, and so do Boots. I’d say the Wilkinson Sword ones will probably stay sharp longer, so it’s worth the extra money. They’ll get blunt eventually, but should last a few weeks with sharpening. The razor handles can be found on eBay if you can’t find them new: you could shave with an antique razor!
  • Razor blades are sharpened on a strop, and lazy misers know that an old leather belt from a charity shop is just as good. Attach it to a radiator or hook so you can hold it out tight and run the razor along it at a low angle, making that “strop, strop” sound.
  • Now your face is nice and hot, why not try using a shaving oil? Get and old spray perfume bottle and put any cheap oil like grape, sunflower or olive in it. Try mixing in some Olbus oil, peppermint essence or something else to make it smell nice. Spray a little on your face, rub it in, and get shaving!
  • When you’ve finished, get in the bath or shower and use that hot water in the bucket and the face cloth to have a nice hot wash.